The Real Kathy Haydn - Ask Kathy

Dear Kathy,

I am writing to you because I don’t feel I can go on anymore. I have been married for fifteen years now with two children and, although we don’t have the most electric of marriages, we have been stable and comfortable, not well off but happy throughout that time. Recently however my wife has become distant. I have tried to find out the issues behind this and then one day she told me – four years ago she had an affair and it wasn’t just some random man she met in a pub – it was my father. She says it won’t happen again but I feel my whole family has imploded under the weight of this secret and I don’t know what to do.

Yours sincerely
Chris, 49 (Essex)

Kathy Replies -

Dear Chris,

Thank you for your heartfelt letter. It is always difficult to deal with betrayal and when it happens within the family the effects can be detrimantal. I do believe your wife when she says it won’t happen again. After all, if you’re 49 then your father must be, at least, pushing 75 so nature has probably sealed that window of opportunity.

I would suggest talking to your wife and letting her help you with your anxieties – communication is normally at the heart of every emotional problem. Failing that, there are plenty of magazines on sale now that pay good money for ‘real life’ stories such as yours. You mention you have never been ‘well off’ but ‘happy.’ Didn’t seem to work for you, did it? Cashing in may help deal with the pain.

Kathy

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